What is Brat in a BDSM Context: A Guide to the Brat BDSM Kink

  • Oct.01.2021
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being a brat

If you’ve ever been called a brat, you might have felt hurt or insulted by the comment. A brat is usually a person who is prone to having outbursts, is stubborn, and isn’t willing to compromise. It might come as a surprise to you that some people actually enjoy being referred to as it and that there is an entire BDSM sub-genre surrounding the concept of being a brat or a brat tamer. The BDSM definition of this word is different from the normal definition of brat that we usually equate to young unruly children or teens.

What Is Brat?

Being a brat in BDSM is a form of being submissive that is a little more playful and feisty than other kinds of sexual submission. If you think you might be interested in being a little bratty in bed, check out this article about the ins and outs of BDSM brat and tamer roles.

What Is the Meaning of Brat?

brat in bdsm

BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. Within that large group, there are so many different variations and interpretations of all aspects of atypical sexual play. The brat BDSM meaning falls in the realm of dominance and submission, with the “brat” in the role of the submissive partner and the “brat tamer” as the dominant partner. Being a brat is a way that people add some playfulness and defiance into the roles of Sub and Dom.

Instead of being purely submissive and taking orders from the dominant partner, the brat might talk back, disobey, egg the dominant partner on and try to get under their skin in an attempt to be “disciplined.” Just like in any BDSM play, it is important to discuss consent and comfort levels before going right into a brat and brat tamer scenarios. You shouldn’t provoke and degrade your partner in the hopes of being pinned down and spanked unless you know that they’re consenting and interested in it. Have a conversation about how the idea of being a bit bratty turns you on, and be respectful of your partner’s wishes to either think about it, research it, talk it over more, or decide not to do it. If your partner and you are both down, it’s a good idea to make a safe word so that you know that anyone can exit the situation if it gets too intense or uncomfortable.

A safe word in BDSM is a word that doesn’t relate to the context of the situation that can be used as a way to end any BDSM play. A word like “daffodil” or “goldfish” might work because they wouldn’t normally be used in a sexual situation, so they would be memorable and stand out. Safewords are important for BDSM play because they help you distinguish if your partner really wants something to stop or if something that might ordinarily indicate stopping is just part of the fantasy.

For instance, if you were playing the role of a brat with your partner, you might say something like “Wow, is this really all you have to offer?” which might hurt someone’s feelings and make them want to stop what they were doing if they didn’t understand that it was meant to be inflammatory and playful. By having a conversation about your interest in playing the brat or brat tamer role and implementing a safe word, you can avoid this kind of confusion or hurt feelings.

How to Be a Brat

what is brat

If you want some pointers on how to be bratty with your partner, these ideas could tickle your fancy. Another word for brat is disobedient, so if your brat tamer tells you to lie down on the bed, you could look them in the eyes, smile, and stay put where you are. This might incline them to raise their voice, pin you to the bed or stand there disapprovingly waiting until you do what you were told. You could say “make me” if they ask you to do even the most simple of things. The Brat BDSM term revolves a lot more around play than it does actually try to hurt the feelings of your dominant partner. You tease them so that they can become more interested, like a game of cat and mouse.

You make it a little bit more interesting by only being agreeable sometimes, or only after your partner has had to coax it out of you. A brat might call their partner names, do something to undermine their dominance, make a mess, disrespect or disobey their partner, or consensually flick, bite, or scratch them. Eventually, because this is all a game of sexual gratification, your partner would give in and allow the dominant to do their thing.

There are many other types of submissive roles from baby to slave, and brat is just one way to be submissive that interests some people. If you find that you’re not into it, that it doesn’t feel genuine or that it doesn’t really get you going, you could look into other ways of being submissive. Similarly, if you are preparing to try brat taming, you should know what you’re getting into before you dive right in.

Being a brat tamer isn’t for the sensitive souls. Your partner might hit you where it hurts the most, or try to get into your head about something you might be insecure about. If you know it’s all in good fun, and you enjoy being teased a bit before finally being dominant, you could have a lot of fun playing this game with your partner.

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