Sex with Friends
I Want to Have Sex with My Friend, What Do I Do?
So you want to know how to have sex with a friend without ruining your relationship. No one wants to end up ruining a friendship by hooking up. While it might be more challenging to have sex with a close friend without making things weird afterward, in the right conditions it could be possible.
There are a series of questions you should ask yourself before you make the decision to have sex with a friend. If you want to sleep with a friend, know that there is a lot more to think about than simply how to get a friend to sleep with you.
Why Do You Want to Have Sex with Your Friend?
The first thing to examine is the answer to the question “Why do you want to have sex with your friend?” Are you feeling horny in the spur of the moment? Are you harboring a lot of built-up sexual tension between the two of you? Have you been in love with them since the moment you met but never had the courage to say something? There is a multitude of reasons why someone might be interested in sex with friends.
Each reasoning could cause a potentially different outcome, so it is really important to consider the motivation behind the interest and or urge before you devote too much attention to the idea. Maybe you’re going through a dry spell or a challenging time emotionally. You seek comfort in your friend, so why not seek physical connection too?
Really do ask yourself the question, “Why specifically do I want to have sex with my friend and not someone else? Is it worth risking our relationship for a romp in the sheets?” If you want to have sex with a friend once and then get back to being friends as normal, it might not be the best idea. If you want to eventually become more than friends, there is a totally different connotation behind your wanting to hook up with your friend.
You need to have a very frank discussion about this with your friend BEFORE the sex happens, this is one of the only ways to potentially prevent heartbreak and even this doesn’t have a 100% success rate. If you want a romantic relationship with your friend, you should disclose this before bringing up the idea of having sex with them.
If they don’t have an interest in having anything more than friendship, having sex with them will not end well. Never hope that the person will come around and want something more the more you have sex with them. This will likely end in heartbreak.
Despite these dire warnings about the times that sex with friends doesn’t work, there are scenarios when having sex with a friend can resolve in no hard feelings and a continuing friendship. There are specific situations where the timing makes sense, and your level of closeness to your friend allows for a little orgasm exchange to happen with only good or neutral consequences.
The key to this is having a relationship to sex that is more casual and be sure that your friend has this same relationship. Discussing boundaries is key, as is communicating before during and after the sex happens to make sure that all feelings are good and fun is being had. There are more questions to ask yourself if you’re wondering whether you and your friend could potentially be in this happier boat.
How Close Are You and Your Friend?
Are you and your friend best friends or casual friends? Would you describe your relationship as extremely close or do you just run in the same social circles as each other? In case this isn’t painfully obvious, having a fling with a friendly acquaintance is much different than making love to your best friend. Having sex with a best friend or very close friends can become really sticky and complicated almost every time.
There may be a few situations in which this didn’t end incredibly badly, but most of them involve marriage or long term romantic relationships between people who used to be best friends. If you’re looking to hook up with your closest friend once or a couple of times and keep the same relationship you had before, this might be a close to impossible feat. Sex really complicates things. The sex might be really bad.
You might not have been ready to see that side of your friend and it might actually make you really turned off by them even platonically. The awkwardness could potentially ruin the ease at which you used to banter and your friendship might end up paying the ultimate price. If the sex is really good, however, there might be even more excruciating painful problems in store.
Problems of the heart. If you have great sex with your best friend, a person that you have had a really close and trusting relationship with for however many years, this could send your hormones and neurons spinning. The love chemical oxytocin will be present in the case of amazing and intimate sex, and that can cause a person to feel some type of way.
If you two end up together, it could be really amazing. But if you don’t end up in a romantic relationship and try to just remain, friends, like you were before, at least one of you is quite likely designed for heartbreak.
Friends with Benefits, Does It Work?
Friends with benefits mean friends who have sex, and some people love it while others can’t enjoy the casualty. Sex among friends or FWB relationships can work but often end up in one person getting scorned. The thing that can make or break friends with benefits situation is boundaries and clear communication. It is important that the friends with benefits situation doesn’t venture too far into the romantic or committed, because this could mean problems in the future should one of you want something more, or should one of you move on and have a relationship with another person.
For most people in a friend with benefits relationship, it is inevitable to have to deal with some amount of either heartbreak, awkwardness, or the severing of ties with the person. While the title of FWB charms us with its “no strings attached” siren song, there are often at least a few strings. Having a friend with benefits relationship usually works best with a friend who isn’t a central figure in your life. Someone who is possible to steer clear from for a little while if things go south.
For this reason, it is probably best not to try to make a friend with benefits situation with one of your close friends. Ask yourself whether you would be okay with your friendship ending due to something going south after your addition of sex to the relationship. If you aren’t wanting to risk the demise of your friendship, you should keep things platonic. If you’re at a point where you want to risk it all, ask yourself if what you really want is just sex.
Me and My Friend Had Sex: Now What?
Sometimes the moment gets the best of us and we make the decision that feels right. If you went ahead and decided to have sex with your friend and you want to make sure that you go about the aftermath in the best way possible, there are a few things you should keep in mind. When do friends have sex and stay friends? There is no instruction manual on how to fuck a friend, but if you both have a good and casual relationship with sex then sex among friends might actually be a great and harmless thing.
This usually works out if the sex is a spur of the moment thing and both of you have communicated what you want out of the relationship. If you both understand that you’re single and had a night (or two) of fun, then it’s possible you can carry on having fun and amicable relationship after the sex has gone down. If you had sex and now both of you feel awkward or one person is wanting more of a romantic relationship, it’s better not to keep up the habit.
Be clear about how you’re feeling. Check-in with your friend and make sure that your friend knows that you are open to talking about any feelings or thoughts that come up. If you really want to salvage your relationship, good communication is key.
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