Your Intro to Impact Play: An Impact Play Guide for Beginners

  • Sep.29.2021
  • 5min
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peach slap

While the term impact play might sound serious or intensely kinky, it’s actually one of the most common BDSM-related activities that can happen even in relatively vanilla sex. Ass slapping is included under the umbrella of impact play, so if you’ve ever slapped someone’s bum or gotten yours spanked, you’ve engaged in impact play.

Impact Play Guide

If you’ve ever enjoyed a cheeky spanking or even a pillow fight with your lover, you might be interested in learning more about impact play BDSM. While spanking may be quite common, there is a whole world of impact play that can get a lot more intense than a firm pat on the rear end. People range widely in their interest when it comes to this kind of sexual activity.

Depending on your pain tolerance, your feelings about your partner, and the level of stress you’re under, impact play can feel like a lot of different things. Most people are into it for the catharsis, the physical release, and the feeling of being dominated or dominating their partner. The psychological gratification can be somewhat intense for those who really enjoy being dominant or submissive, and sadistic or masochistic. Those who enjoy staying in a fixed role enjoy impact play, and those who identify more with the term “switch” (which means they enjoy both being dominant and being dominated) can all enjoy single or multiple aspects of impact play BDSM. Find out how to get into it with this helpful intro to impact play.

What Is Impact Play?

impact play meaning

The impact play meaning is essentially any instance in which someone is physically impacted or physically impacts a partner for sexual or even psychological gratification. If you have an impact play kink you might be interested in purchasing items to use for impact play like whips, paddles or flogs. There is no need to go out and buy fancy equipment, especially if you’re trying impact play for the first time. When it comes to the impact play basics, testing out some light spanking, slapping and maybe whipping with a towel can pique your interest and let you know if you might soon want to invest in some of the impact play toys I mentioned.

You might also have some items around your house that can be used as makeshift paddles and whips, like a wooden spoon or a rope. Impact play is part of BDSM, which stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. It is a huge overarching term that describes a lot of the themes in the kink community.

Kink is any sexual preference that deviates from the norm, but believe it or not it is quite normal to be a bit kinky, and BDSM is part of that world. There are many different types of impact play in BDSM, some that are more centered around hard hits, some that use light stinging whips, and others that are more centered around role-playing and the threat of impact than the actual impact itself. It can be as light or extreme as you wish, and it can be a fun thing for a special occasion or an all the time thing.

How to Impact Play

impact play kink

Before you go ahead and try out some of the tools I mentioned, or the impact plays ideas you will read about further down in this article, it is important to go over some information about BDSM impact play risks and safety. For starters, whenever you’re going to engage in any kind of BDSM play, you need to have enthusiastic consent, and a generous and open conversation with your partner about what is going to be expected, what will be enjoyed, and what is off-limits. You can start by sitting down with your partner as each of you write down a list of things that turn you on and things that you’re not quite comfortable with.

Read each other’s lists and discuss what might be on the menu for you, and explain anything that you feel the need to go over. After this, when you’ve gone over what you’re consenting to and what you’re not interested in trying, you should make a safe word. Whenever you’re doing anything related to BDSM, especially something that may involve pain, you should implement the use of a safe word. A safeword is a word like pomegranate or tennis ball that would not make sense in the context of your BDSM play, that can be used as a signal that the play needs to come to a stop. It is important to decide on a word that is easy to say and easy to remember for this purpose.

Safewords are helpful and important because when you are engaging in something like impact play where the pain is going to be part of the experience, someone saying ouch or no might be involuntary. While words like ouch or no are signals during most sexual experiences that the activity should stop, during BDSM, the typical signals to stop the activities can get confusing or misread due to the nature of the play. That is why using a safeword that has nothing to do with the situation is always important for engaging in BDSM.

More Impact Play Safety

impact play basics

To understand how to engage in safe impact play, it is important to start out slowly and build up to the intensity that you want. It will always be a conversation between you and your partner, and what someone wants one day might not be what they’re in the mood for the next. Always check in about pressure, intensity, and pain when you’re playing with impact. It is always recommended that you start with your hands before moving on to tools and toys like whips and flogs. This is important because you have a positive feedback loop when you use your hand. You can feel the pressure and tingling sensation that comes with slapping someone with your palm and then adjust and understand how much they like and what is a bit too intense.

Once you’ve gaged that, you can begin to play with accessories. It is also recommended that you try any accessories out on yourself before you use them on a partner so that you understand the feelings that they bring and get a taste for how they feel on the skin. When using toys, you have to be more sensitive to how your partner is feeling because you won’t be able to feel the direct feedback from their skin to yours. When it comes to safe impact play zones and places to avoid, you can find an impact play position chart to help you know where to strike and what to leave alone. Typically, the best places to impact are fleshy parts of the body with a lot of surface area.

This means the buttocks, thighs, upper back, and arms. For safety, always avoid the areas covering organs, the eyes, nose, ears, mouth, and feet. For many, it is important to avoid areas that would be hard too cover in the case that bruises or welts appear. Ask your partner about where they would like to be impacted before you do anything.

Aftercare for Impact Play

Once you have played with impact with your partner, an important part of impact play for many people is aftercare. Aftercare is exactly what it sounds like: caring for someone after BDSM or kinky sex. If your partner has bruises, welts, or wounds, they might like it if you brought them ice or bandages, kissed their wounds, cuddled them, or brought them food and water.

What people like after impact play differs, but it is always essential to check in on your partner and make sure that they’re okay. You can discuss what you liked and what you didn’t like as much and learn how to improve upon your intimacy and trust.

This is an aspect of the BDSM world that can be beneficial to all people, no matter what kind of sex they’re into. Checking in on your partner after sex always feels thoughtful and considerate. It can make for stronger relationships and better sex.

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