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How to Know If You’re Bisexual: Bisexuality Checklist and Signs You Might Be Bisexual

  • Jan.15.2021
  • 3min
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am i bisexual

What Is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is human sexuality that is defined by an attraction to more than one gender. Contrary to what some think is implied by the prefix “Bi”, bisexuality is not about being attracted to two or “both” genders. It is certainly not sexuality that affirms the gender binary but is rather a sexuality in which sexual and romantic attraction is not limited by the gender binary at all. There are certainly more in-depth descriptions of any one person’s specific sexuality or place in the sexuality spectrum. Sometimes these labels don’t feel like they fit us perfectly, but they’re helpful for feeling a sense of community and visibility. You might feel like bisexual fits your identity well, or maybe you feel better about pansexuality, queerness, bicurious, “not fully straight” or just not choosing to label yourself at all.

Is It Normal to Be Bisexual?

Bisexuality is not a choice or a malady. There are no “symptoms of bisexuality” that you can check off and present as proof of your identity. Sexuality is fluid and lies on a spectrum. It might be surprising to find out that most young people aren’t 100% heterosexual. A recent British study found that when asked for a self-report on sexuality, only 46% of people between the ages of people aged eighteen to twenty-four said that they were 100% heterosexual. Most people report themselves somewhere between 100% straight and 100% gay, making them somewhere in the realm of bisexuality. If you are questioning bisexuality, which term fits best or simply wanting to explore your sexuality, this article might help you understand how bisexual people describe their attraction and identity.

Am I Bi or Confused?

bisexuality checklist

Instead of searching up things like “most common signs of bisexual man” or “signs a girl is bisexual” realize that you are the only person capable of knowing truly what attracts you, and while other people might try to label you, it is up to you to explore your sexuality and define it for yourself. If you’re feeling confused about your sexuality, ask yourself questions like “Am I attracted to people of different genders” or “How do I feel about the idea of seeing this gender naked?” If these questions bring something up for you, it might be a good idea to explore with partners or friends, to talk to people in your life about sexuality in a respectful way, and maybe to explore having a romantic interaction with someone who isn’t exactly like the people you might normally date or hook up with. In this case, communication is really important. Let the person know you are exploring your sexuality and be very clear that you’re not sure about it. Be absolutely positive that the person is comfortable with this because no one ever wants to feel like they’re being used as a sexual experiment. Maybe try experimenting with another person who is questioning their sexuality and keep it light, fun, and curious.

Myths About Bisexuality

Okay, so maybe you’re bicurious, or you’re interested in experimenting with bisexuality. Bicurious is a very different term than bisexual, be aware of the difference when you’re speaking to people! It’s important.

Please note, people who are bisexual are not confused! They firmly understand their sexuality as an attraction to more than one gender. They are not exploring or experimenting, they are not gay when they date the same gender and straight when they date a different gender, they are always bisexual. They are not overly horny or greedy, they won’t have sex with anyone who offers! These are silly and harmful tropes about bisexuality. Just because gender is not the deciding factor in who a bisexual person will date, does not in any way mean they are more promiscuous or sexually active than any other person with any other sexual identity.

Bisexuality also does not mean a person is attracted to both men and women. Gender and sexuality are different, but they relate to each other. Anyone of any gender can be bisexual and being bisexual does not mean you can’t be attracted to people who do not fit perfectly on the gender binary such as transgender, agender, or gender non-conforming people. Attraction and identity are two different things, but an understanding of the societal construct of gender can help us understand how and why both gender and sexuality are on a spectrum rather than a binary. Just as most people are not 100% masculine or 100% feminine, people are also not 100% attracted to masculinity or 100% attracted to femininity. Additionally, concepts of masculinity and femininity are different from culture to culture and ever-changing.

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