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Cunnilingus Guide: How to Give Good Cunnilingus

  • Dec.23.2020
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cunnilingus guide

In this article, I will answer all of your questions about how to go down on a woman. It might be cemented in your brain that the female anatomy is inherently difficult to navigate, mysterious or complicated. The way we are taught and presented information about sex give us this mythical understanding, so let’s break this myth open right here and right now. The best way to perform cunnilingus isn’t what you might see in pornography or popular media, in fact, porn and movies often get this technique wrong all the time.

Pornography is almost always exclusively directed and produced with heteronormative male fantasies in mind. If you want to please your partner and get very good at giving head, my first piece of advice to you is to do away with any preconceptions you’ve learned from porn and to refrain from using porn videos as a form of sex education. My potentially most important cunnilingus advice to give you is that for a lot of people with vulvas, oral sex is the main course and the most likely thing to bring about an orgasm.

Penetration alone actually only does it for about 15 to 25 percent of people with vaginas, meaning approximately 80 percent need something more than just penetration to have an orgasm. The tricky thing is, while oral sex can be a wonderful way to make sure that your partner is getting the pleasure you want to give them, a lot of women struggle with insecurities about their bodies, particularly when it comes to having someone’s whole face in a place that society has made many women feel is gross or vulgar. So let’s make sure to break that myth for everyone, but most importantly the person you’re performing cunnilingus on, and let that person know that their vagina is actually really hot. Possibly the most important of these cunnilingus tips is to make the person you’re eating out with the understanding that this experience is just as hot if not even hotter for you to experience than for them. Let your partner know that you’re here for as long as they need and that you are extremely turned on by everything about their vagina and vulva.

This includes the taste, the smell, and the appearance of all that is going on between your partner’s legs. It is important that this is expressed genuinely. Saying words of affirmation or checking in with your partner about this might not make them suddenly adore oral if they haven’t in the past, and it might not make them devoid of any insecurity, but it goes a hell of a long way. It can absolutely take some people from nervous to enjoying themselves or enjoying themselves moderately to really loving what’s going on.

Another important thing to note is that on average, women take about 20 minutes to reach orgasm. This means that you should spend some time getting aroused and ready beforehand so that you and your partner are both aroused for the experience. Then you should let your partner know that there is no rush, that you’re taking your time and you are enjoying every second of it. It is important to really mean this and genuinely be there for as long as she needs, which could take quite a bit of time, but it will be worth it. Seeing your partner enthralled in the pleasure you’re giving will make it a really sexy experience for all.

So How Do You Make a Girl Orgasm with Your Tongue?

cunnilingus advice

Once you’ve got a good understanding of the mental and physical preparations to take before giving someone head, you will want to look into more techniques on how to properly go down on your girlfriend or partner. There are a few positions that are great for cunnilingus but the best positions to go down on her will have you at a 45-degree angle from her clitoris. This will make licking and sucking more precise and deliberate. The best position for cunnilingus for beginners would probably be either sitting at the edge of the bed or on the foot of the bed while your partner lies down or reclines.

For more advanced positions, some like to lie down and have their partner sit on their face, others like to kneel while their partner stands, but for the best leverage, having the partner who is receiving cunnilingus lying down while the performer gets to the right angle between her thighs is good for efficacy. Whatever position you end up in, just remember you might be there for twenty minutes or more so get comfortable.

For practical advice on the technique of cunnilingus, there are a few things to be aware of. Not every vulva is the same, in fact, no two vulvas have the same exact positioning of nerve endings, so what might feel great for one person might not really do it for another. This being said, there are a few common themes that seem to stretch pretty far across vulva owners in terms of feeling nice and getting things going. You will want to start gently, as the area can be super sensitive and you don’t want anything to feel abrupt or overwhelming right off the bat. Start with some light licking up and down over the clitoris. Spread the labia to get more directly to the clitoris itself. Adding some use of fingers on the very top of the clitoral hood can be nice as well.

Using a free hand to touch your partner’s hips, butt or chest can also be extra stimulating. Some women enjoy a circular motion with the tongue around the clitoris, and some prefer direct tongue on clitoris stimulation. Others enjoy a sucking sensation. Never use your tongue to penetrate the vagina, and if you want to get close to the vaginal opening, lick around it sensually. Inserting fingers into the vagina while still using your tongue on the clitoris can really enhance the experience, but again use these fingers to stimulate the G spot and almost feel like you’re getting to the clitoris internally instead of using the fingers to penetrate as if you were using a penis or dildo. This will make the sensation really intense and pleasurable. A really important piece of advice is not to switch the motion and pattern up too much, ESPECIALLY when you’re getting to the point of climaxing and orgasm.

Keep with the same repetitive movement! A lot of women report that their partner almost gets them there and then changes their tongue strokes to circles instead of vertical licks, or to vertical licks instead of circles and the climax feeling goes away. This doesn’t mean you should never change up the pattern but talk to your partner and if your partner says they could be close to orgasm, don’t change things up too much. So cunnilingus truly isn’t so complicated in theory. As long as there is no mental block causing your partner to have difficulty orgasming, asking what they like and doing it steadily for about the length of one episode of a sitcom is all it takes.

There is no “best way to go down on a girl” because every human no matter their gender has a different unique body and a unique list of turn-ons and turn-offs. This means that take note of all of the advice I have given you in this article, but make sure to check in with your partner about what it is that they prefer, what they fantasize about, what they find hot, and what they could go without. Communication is really key here, and if your partner lets you know that something you’ve been doing isn’t really working, don’t take it personally! Sex is all about figuring out how to navigate the mingling of two bodies, so don’t make it about you. Make it about learning, sharing, passion, communication, experimentation, and pleasure.

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