How to Play With Breath – Your Erotic Asphyxiation Guide

  • Dec.10.2021
  • 5min
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breath play guide

If you’re looking into understanding anything in the realm of asphyxiation kink, you’re in the right place to learn all about what BDSM breath play is and how to do it safely. What is breath play? If you’ve ever heard of anyone wanting to be choked during sex you are familiar with some form of asphyxiation play.

Safe breath play requires really thorough communication, patience and listening, and proper safety information. It is important that you have all three of these elements before you dive into asphyxiation BDSM because this kind of play can be potentially dangerous and even deathly.

Somewhere between 200 and 1000 people die yearly from something called autoasphyxiation, which is breath play involving holding or suppressing one’s breath during masturbation. If you’re looking to find out how to break into the realm of asphyxiation bondage in a safe and feasible way, this breath play guide can give you all of the information you need to get started.

Breath Play Definition

what is breath play

To simply define erotic asphyxiation, this kink is any kind of limitation to normal breathing during sexual activity that is done for the purpose of sexual or psychological gratification. Some people enjoy breath play because of the physical sensation and physiological response the body has to cut off the oxygen supply to our muscles and brain.

Other people enjoy the role-playing aspect of breath play where a dominant partner exhibits control by limiting the breathing ability of their submissive partner. Your personal breath play meaning and way of enjoyment can be different depending on your goals and who is partaking in it.

For some people, breath play can simply be holding one’s breath or telling your partner to hold their breath. It can also be choking, or some form of smothering in a partnered sexual setting or a masturbation setting. Although it might seem obvious, it is important to note that choking and smothering can be dangerous and deadly if done incorrectly whether that is by yourself or with a partner.

That is why it is important for someone with a breathplay fetish to figure out how to do their thing safely. Sexual autoasphyxiation may have to do with masochism or pleasure from pain, but oftentimes when you use asphyxiation as a tool while masturbating, it is for the physical sensations that oxygen deprivation bring. It might not be necessary because you want to feel pain or hurt yourself to get off, it may just be that the body’s response to lack of air can actually heighten the sensations you get in your genitals and in your whole body during orgasm. Oddly enough, this was first studied when public hangings occurred and some people being hanged mysteriously got erections.

Erotic Asphyxiation How To: Some Safety Information

bdsm breath play

In order to know how to indulge in breath play, you’re going to need to learn about a bit of breath play safety. The first thing that you’re going to want to do if you’re interested in breath play with a partner is have a thorough conversation about your goals, your desires and your boundaries. It is important that you talk about anything you’re not comfortable with and exactly what you want your partner to do. If you are not interested in going as far as your partner, you should never feel pressure to do something you’re not comfortable with.

You should also never pressure your partner into doing something they don’t feel comfortable with, especially something dangerous like breath play. I would seriously hope that no one would go ahead and choke or asphyxiate their partner during sex without having a conversation about it or getting consent first, but unfortunately this does happen. No matter what you’ve seen in porn and no matter what you’ve done with other partners, you always have to ask if someone is comfortable with being choked or using breath play before you do it.

Even if you know you wouldn’t ever mean to harm or scare your partner, it could be deeply disturbing for them. It is best to have a conversation about desires and boundaries before you even start with any sexual activities so that you can have a clear head and sensible discussion about it. Once you and your partner have established what is cool and what is not, you can implement a safe word. Safewords can be tricky with breath play because it isn’t always easy or even possible to utter a word when you’re not able to breathe.

However, there are other ways to notify your partner that you need to stop that do not involve speaking such as rapidly blinking or blinking four times in succession. You could also ring a bell, drop something that will make a noise when it falls to the floor, or gets creative with another safeword alternative that you feel comfortable with.

Getting Started

asphyxiation bondage

It is important to disclose that while a conversation and a safe code of sorts can go a long way, there is still a risk of danger when you’re playing with someone’s oxygen supply. It is important to start slowly and gently to ease your way into the kink. You could start by simply holding your breath or telling your partner to hold their breath. Take deep breaths before you do so that you can calm the body.

Don’t do this to the point of being lightheaded or dizzy, and stop if you start to feel these sensations. You could also simply put your hand on your partner’s face or tell your partner to do this in a way that makes breathing a bit more difficult but doesn’t completely cut off your air supply. Choking can be done with less severity as well to start off. In the beginning, you can gauge how much pressure to apply by starting by simply putting your hand on your partner’s neck. The neck is a super erotic part of the body, so even this hand placement could be enough for some people.

If you can look your partner in the eyes while doing all of this to make it more intense. If you want to take things further, you can limit your partner’s oxygen supply more or have your partner limit yours more by applying more pressure. Be very careful not to do this for more than 20-30 seconds at a time. If you see your partner starting to turn red, purple, white, or blue you should stop immediately.

You should also stop if you feel that they’re not breathing for more than a few seconds. Always check in on your partner between moments of breath play to make sure that they’re still into it. If you ever feel uncomfortable or worried about the situation, stop and reassess. There is no reason to ever go farther or spend more time with breath play than you want to at the moment. It is also really important to check in with your partner after the sex is over so that you can have an undistracted understanding of what worked and what might not have worked, and so that you can show care for them and their well-being.

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